4 Pillars of Women’s Health 👩🏻‍🤝‍👩🏽 Social Interactions

However you analyse it, there’s been an increased prevalence of loneliness today. From social media to a culture of me, me, me, we live in a hyper-individualised world.

This reality is contrary to a fundamental biological truth: we are wired for connection. [75] For women in particular, social bonds are a source of happiness and a core component of our stress-management and health system.

Remember the “tend and befriend” theory we shared above detailing how women turn to connections when faced with stressful situations? This means that when you’re stressed, your deep-seated instinct is to connect with other people. [44]

It’s why a phone call with your best friend after a difficult workday can feel more effective than binge-watching your favourite series (not that this doesn’t help as well).

This connection with others triggers the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These three neurotransmitters provide an amplified feeling of pleasure. [75] In simpler terms, your biology as a woman rewards you for having meaningful connections.

Family

For most people, family is the root of all social connections. Secure and thriving familial relationships support mental and physical health.

For women, the emotional regulation that good connections give starts early. Studies show that girls who experience positive parenting, consistent warmth, and emotional attunement from their parents develop more stable cortisol patterns and deal with stress better later in life. [76]

Similarly, another research found that people who experience “troubled early relationships have higher levels of inflammation as adults compared to those who had healthy relationships.” [77]

The results from these two studies highlight the importance of building solid family connections from early on before marriage and having a family of your own.

What about marriage?

From literature review, the contribution of marriage to a woman’s health is all about the quality of the union and marital satisfaction. [78, 79]

In a study spanning 13 years, researchers tracked 493 women, aged between 42 and 50 years, examining health risk factors during and after menopause. The cohort included married, single, divorced, and those cohabiting with a romantic partner.

The researchers found that married women who reported higher satisfaction had comparative health advantages over other participants. Some of the health advantages include:

“Lower levels of psychosocial cardiovascular risk factors - such as depression, anxiety and anger”
Lower levels of blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and body mass index [79]

Part of the reasons good marriages can improve health outcomes include:

Increased availability of socioeconomic resources in a two-person household
Partner influence on healthier lifestyle choices and also wanting to live for others
Eliminating social isolation
Improved social support from someone that is accessible most of the time

Friends

Genuine women’s friendships are powerful, particularly with other women. One of the reasons for this is because women are simply more skilled than men at offering and receiving social support. [80]
This goes beyond the surface. When women share stories, vent frustrations, lean on each other for strength, have each other’s backs, or laugh until they cry, they’re reinforcing emotional safety.

A study of women in recovery from substance use found that participants who had stronger relationships with other women had a higher perception of hope and self-esteem. [81]

One longitudinal study also found that people with strong friendships were 50% more likely to survive major illnesses, further highlighting the importance of quality relationships. [82]

That said, sustaining friendship bonds in adulthood isn’t always easy for women. Between work, parenting, taking care of others, and responsibilities, friendship sometimes falls to the bottom of women’s priorities.

Studies show that loneliness among women in midlife is rising sharply, with profound effects on both mental and cardiovascular health. [83]

But it doesn’t have to be so. Women must actively seek, invest in, and nurture friendships. Text back. Schedule that coffee. Ask about their wellbeing. Celebrate their wins like yours. Make the effort, it’s totally worth it.

Strangers and the power of small connections

While our inner circle is crucial, there's also immense value in connecting with a broader community. These are the "weak ties" you have around where you live, work, and regularly visit.

It includes a friendly chat with the barista at your local coffee shop, the neighbours you wave to, other parents at your children’s school that you talk to, and members of your local charity that you work with. These social interactions may not mean much, but they can boost the feelings of happiness and belonging. [84]

So yes, saying good morning to your bus driver or sharing a brief laugh with someone in line actually benefits your mental health.

What about digital connections?

Technology, particularly social media, has made it possible to connect with others and join communities from anywhere in the world. These online communities offer belonging and solidarity for women.

Examples include groups for mothers working through postpartum struggles and professionals networking across continents. Suffice to say that these digital connections have their place.

In seeking these positive digital connections, women must also be wary of things like:

Comparison culture: Platforms like Instagram and TikTok amplify unrealistic beauty and lifestyle ideals. Constant exposure to expertly curated lifestyles can lead to issues like general and body dissatisfaction, negative self-image, adopting behaviours or actions you wouldn’t normally because of fear of missing out (FOMO), and more.
Dependence on external approval: Every time someone likes, comments, or shares your content, dopamine surges, giving you pleasure. Over time, you may grow to depend on these digital interactions, making online validation a measure of your self-worth. Suddenly, you do not agree that your picture is fine unless liked by 100 people.

So, while there are good connections to be made online, it’s important that you actively curate your digital feed. Follow accounts that educate, uplift, and inspire you. Mute or unfollow anything that fuels comparison or self-doubt, triggers you, or disrupts your mental health. No room for negative energy.

The importance of boundaries

We’ve already alluded to women’s inherent relational strength, but oftentimes, what we see is the propensity for this strength to devolve into their Achilles’ heel.

Women begin to live for others only and not themselves. This is self-erasure, where your needs no longer or rarely matter. Your needs and wants matter. You deserve care and love as well. Self-erasure does not happen with strong boundaries.

Even science alludes to this fact. Research says that when support is unskilled or overbearing, it exacerbates stress rather than eliminates it. [85]

Every connection is only healthy when paired and balanced with strong boundaries. Boundaries help you define what is okay and what is not, how much you’re willing to give, and make choices that honour your needs, energy, and limits. It prevents you from overextending yourself at all times.

You should be able to say things like “I need a quiet evening at home because I'm exhausted” and follow through with it. This also means your communication with others has to be clear and simple. You don’t need to overexplain or apologise for choosing yourself, except, of course, you were cancelling something you already volunteered for.

Lastly, know that solitude is not loneliness. You can choose moments and periods where you actively rejuvenate yourself. [86] Sometimes, being social can be draining and overwhelming. Solitude helps you course-correct. It’s a skill every woman must develop and possess.

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