4 Pillars of Women’s Health💆‍♀️Emotional & Mental Wellbeing

Emotional wellbeing is a crucial factor in better health outcomes for women. [39]

From where we stand, emotional and mental wellbeing is a state where you’re resilient to the ebbs and flows of life, creating your own strong and unique inner narrative, and your ability to not be swallowed up by the storms of life.

It’s necessary to highlight that a woman’s mental health is quite complex because there are biological, hormonal, cultural, and social factors at play.

For example, poor women and those less educated are more likely to suffer mental health conditions. [40]

We’ll break down how you can support your emotional health into three key areas:

Stress management
Positive self-image
Sleep hygiene

Stress management

Women experience stress from many sources, including money, family responsibilities, harassment, discrimination, new life stages, relationships, job insecurity, and much more. [41]

That said, stress is not necessarily a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it’s one of our survival tools in response to threats and challenges. [42] It’s a mechanism that floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol, sharpening focus and mobilising energy for one clear purpose: escape or fight. [43] In other words, stress is not the problem but chronic stress.

That said, the threats and challenges in modern life rarely require a literal escape or fight. In today’s world, you deal with inboxes, deadlines, childcare, inflation, and a thousand micro-threats that are ever-present. So instead of flight or fight, we are presented with problems that we must live with on a daily basis.

Women’s “tend and befriend” response to stress

Most classic stress research was done on men, which led to the established “fight or flight” model we all know.

But in women, scientists have found another pattern: “tend and befriend,” published in 2000. Instead of gearing purely for confrontation or escape, women under stress often turn toward connection, that is, seeking social support, empathy, or nurturing behaviours. [44]

Oestrogen and oxytocin amplify affiliative (the need to bond) responses under stress, promoting bonding and cooperation. Even though men also produce oxytocin, the presence of androgens (male sex hormones) does not yield the same affiliative response in men. [44]

Understanding the HPA axis and cortisol

Many stress-relieving products or solutions dangerously paint cortisol as a villain, but it’s everything but. It’s essential and helps regulate energy, maintain blood pressure, manage inflammation, and even aid memory consolidation. The problem is chronic elevation. [45]

When you perceive a threat or respond to internal stressors, your Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) axis kicks into gear, ending with your adrenal glands pumping out cortisol. [45]

This is great in the short term because it gives you the energy to handle the source of your stress. But when stress is chronic, your body is flooded with too much cortisol. For women, chronic stress is a direct assault on our hormonal balance and every other pillar of health.

Symptoms of excess cortisol include:

Hirsutism or excess hair growth in women
Osteoporosis
Stubborn belly fat
Constant tiredness
Diabetes
Weight gain
Increased blood pressure
Insulin resistance and more. [45, 46]

Practical tips for managing stress

The reality of our battle against stress is that it’s an ongoing war. You must wake up each day determined to win the war, or at least not lose it. And frankly, everything and anything can get you stressed today.

In providing these tips, it’s vital that we stress that men and women experience stress differently and thus require different strategies in managing it. [47, 48]

Additionally, we must add that there are individual differences that make some people less predisposed to stress. Some people are just naturally more bullet-proof than others, and that’s ok.

1. Know your stress signals

The first step in managing stress is learning how your body communicates with you when stressed. For some people, it's a headache, and for others, clenched teeth or tight muscles. This will help you know when you’ve descended into chronic stress levels.

2. Take a deep breath

This sounds like one of those cliché tips, but I promise you it’s rooted in science. It is the fastest way to manually control your nervous system.

Slow, controlled diaphragmatic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, “part of the autonomic nervous system that is responsible for the body's rest and digestion response.” [49, 50]

Women practising controlled and mindful breathing show improved emotional regulation. [51]

3. Staying connected

Talking through stress with friends, family, and supportive peers measurably lowers stress hormones. Sharing your fears, worries, and stress with others can both be reassuring and calming, especially if the other person demonstrates empathy for your cause.

4. Spend time in nature

One of the ways you can decompress is by spending time in nature. Even 20 minutes in a park can significantly lower cortisol levels. [52] There are also studies that suggest having a plant on your table at work or at home can significantly reduce stress and increase productivity. [53]

5. Plan, plan, plan

Life can be unscripted in many ways, and this only reinforces the need to plan and control the things you can. Planning provides some semblance of structure, which is essential for reducing stress. This is particularly important for the things that give you joy.

Make a routine for your hobbies and activities that make you happy and keep you sane. In the same vein, leave room in your schedule for trying new things.

We recognise that this may not be exactly straightforward, considering the many things women juggle on a daily basis, but needs must.

6. Practice positive reframing

The idea behind positive reframing is changing how you think about stress. What? Yes, seeing stress positively can have a good impact on your well-being and help you manage stressors better. [54]

It can be as simple as identifying a lesson you could take from a difficult situation. For example, perhaps learning the kind of person not to date after a breakup.

University of Rochester researchers found that students who took this approach scored higher in tests, procrastinated less, and responded to academic issues or stresses in a much healthier way. [55]

7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Whether it’s asking friends and family members to help babysit so you can have some me-time or talking to a healthcare professional when stress is seriously affecting your mental and physical well-being, seeking help never goes out of fashion.

And as we learnt earlier, women actively seek connections during stressful periods as a coping mechanism. So, it’s essential to support women, and build a network of friends and family members that you can rely on, and can rely on you (goes without saying!).

Positive self-image

I don’t know about you, but it always seems like there are some crazy standards for women to live by or meet up to. Oh, you’re not thin enough, not intelligent enough, not pretty enough, too emotional to be a leader, not young enough, not sexy enough, and other bullcrap.

Across multiple studies, between 69–84% of women experience body dissatisfaction. [56] This number is considerably lower for men.

Maybe it’s cultural. Maybe it’s generational. Maybe it’s the 17,000 advertising messages you’ve absorbed before breakfast. Or social media exposure. Studies show that even brief exposure to “fitspiration” images on Instagram can increase body shame and anxiety in women within minutes. [57]

Whatever the case may be, this external criticism or standard has become the internal narrative for most women.

Unfortunately, body dissatisfaction and negative self-image carry serious consequences, some of which include:

Poor quality of life
Unhealthy eating behaviour, leading to eating disorders
Psychological issues like anxiety and depression
Suicidal thoughts or feelings
Feeling ashamed and not wanting to socialise
Feeling unworthy and undeserving of affection
Justifying and accepting bullying [58]

That said, your self-image goes beyond your looks; it’s inclusive of your intelligence, adequacy, morality, competence, and self-esteem.

So, how can women build a positive self-image?

Owning and creating your own narrative

How you currently view yourself is not a fixed truth. You can rewrite your own narrative. Through repetition and experience, you can begin to craft new self-beliefs and an identity that’s uniquely yours.

When you intentionally redefine how you see your body, your career, or your worth, your brain eventually rewires those associations.

So for example, rather than accepting that you’re too emotional, you may recraft it as “My sensitivity helps me connect deeply.”

The art of true self-care

Self-care has been co-opted by consumerism and turned into paying for things like bubble baths and face masks.

While those are nice and good to have at times, true self-care is about identifying what genuinely works for you and restores your energy.

Often, it has nothing to do with buying something. It might be:

Creative expression: Painting, journaling, dancing, playing music, singing. Creative acts are a powerful way to process emotions and connect with yourself. They also improve your mood and reduce anxiety. [59]
Saying no: Setting a boundary is one of the most profound acts of self-care.
Resting without guilt: Allowing yourself to do absolutely nothing without feeling like you should be productive is a superpower you must possess. Women are socialised to prioritise everyone else (partners, kids, parents, colleagues). So “me time” can feel selfish. Don’t worry, the world won’t fall apart in those few hours or minutes.

Body positivity vs. body neutrality

Body positivity tells us to love our bodies, no matter what. And while that’s a beautiful goal on its own merits, for many women who have spent a lifetime not liking or outrightly hating their bodies, such mindset change can feel like too big of a leap.

Many women feel pressured to love every part of their body. Its focus on mostly body appearance also seems to be a major drawback for most women. [60]

That’s where body neutrality comes in. Body neutrality shifts the focus from appearance to function. It’s about respect, not love. Interestingly, body neutrality has many components of body positivity, including body appreciation and acceptance, functionality appreciation, and more. [61]

In essence, you may not like the way a part of your body is, but yet, you’re grateful to have it because it performs an essential function in your life. For instance, you may not like your feet but you’re grateful they’re there to help you walk.

Sleep hygiene

Sleep is an often underrated part of quality living. It’s a silent healer that you must prioritise for holistic health.

During sleep, your body repairs tissue, consolidates memories, and detoxifies your brain. For women, sleep is intimately tied to our hormonal and menstrual cycles. [62]

Why women struggle to sleep

There are many reasons why women struggle to sleep even when they’re tired. Only 40% of women get the recommended 7–9 hours of sleep per night. [63] Part of it is natural and part of it is due to social reasons. [63]

For example, cramps and pain during your period can disrupt sleep. Equally, things like caregiving and work duties may also interfere with a woman’s sleep.

Many women report that their worst sleep of the month happens in the few days right before their period. [65]

The hormonal flux during the menstrual cycle is one of the reasons why women are 40% more likely to experience insomnia. [66] It is therefore important to understand these intricacies so that you can better mitigate them.

The cost of poor sleep

Poor sleep has both financial and health implications. It increases healthcare spending per person by $3,400 to $5,200. [67]

Lack of sleep rewires emotional regulation, and this is worse in women than men. In one study, sleep-deprived women showed 60% higher amygdala reactivity to negative stimuli compared to well-rested participants. [68]

Sleep deprivation also reduces prefrontal cortex control. This is the part that helps you think rationally, not react impulsively. What this means is less control, impaired judgement, poor decision-making, and more emotional rollercoasters. [69]

Aside from the financial and emotional cost, poor sleep quality also impacts the following:

Emotional wellbeing
Inability to maintain wakefulness, leading to errors and accidents
Disjointed decision-making
Poor attention span
Increased mortality risk
Increased likelihood of obesity because poor sleep makes you eat more
Higher likelihood of hypertension, coronary artery calcification, and diabetes [66]

What is sleep quality?

Sleep quality is a function of four key factors:

Sleep efficiency: The percentage of time spent sleeping versus total time spent lying in bed.
Sleep latency: Measures how quickly you fall asleep. Ideally, you should fall asleep within 30 minutes of lying in bed. [70]
Sleep duration: How long you slept. Experts recommend 7–9 hours for all adults, including women.
Wake after sleep onset: How often you wake during the night and how soon you can return to sleep. Waking more than once is considered poor quality, worse if you struggle to fall asleep again. [70]

Action plan to improve your sleep quality

Step 1: Reset your circadian rhythm

Your circadian rhythm regulates your sleep cycle. This internal clock prepares the body for sleep by beginning the release of melatonin and decreasing your alertness.

When it’s out of sync, you may struggle to fall asleep and maintain energy during the day. Sunlight exposure is the primary way to reset your circadian rhythm. [71]

Ensure that you get bright direct sunlight for at least 20 minutes daily, particularly in the morning and about one hour after waking.

Step 2: Create a bedtime routine

The first part of this equation is going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time every night, even on weekends. This makes it a routine. For example, bedtime at 10 pm and wake-up at 5 am.

The second part is creating a wind-down routine that signals to your brain that it’s time to sleep, ideally 30–45 minutes before your set bedtime.

Part of your routine may include stretching, meditation, a shower, reading a book, or gratitude journaling.

Step 3: Curate your sleep environment

You need a cool, dark, and quiet place to fall and remain asleep. Your body temperature needs to drop to initiate sleep. [72] Keep your bedroom cool.

If you stay in a well-lit area, use blackout curtains and an eye mask to block light. Avoid digital devices at least 45 minutes before bedtime; phone usage before bed reduces sleep quality. [73]

Step 4: Take note of these other sleep quality traps

Only drink a small amount of water two hours before bedtime to minimise waking in the night.
Stop caffeine six hours before bed, preferably earlier. Alcohol and other stimulants may also keep you awake. [74]
Avoid large meals at night.
Exercise regularly, but avoid it at least three hours before bed.
Avoid long afternoon naps; limit them to 20–30 minutes if needed.
Only go to bed when sleepy, reinforcing that your bed is for sleep, not work or study.

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